Fist Fight Advice #477

I saw this post pop up on Digg: How To Actually Win A Fist Fight. This is a recurring theme I’ve seen on sites, YouTube videos and in men’s magazines.

…You are - at some point in your life - going to be called upon to defend yourself.

Now, I recall fights in grade school, high school, a few in college (during my state school experience, not where I graduated) and a doozie or two at the bars I’ve worked at in my twenties. Maybe I’m getting old and forgetful, but I don’t recall that many fights that the subject warrants this much attention. There were pushy-shoveys, yelling matches, and yes the occasional full-on throw-down, but not everyone was getting in fights. Or, at least, I wasn’t.

Sure, I had friction with a few people—there were stand-offs, words exchanged, etc—but I’ve never had to go toe-to-toe with someone. I played sports, I was relatively athletic, and I guess I was just big enough not to mess around with. I’ve been jumped outside of a frat house once. But really, through school, the bars I’ve worked at, the clubs I’ve gone to, the situations I’ve been in, there always seems to be a non-combat way out of things.

To some extent, I think your threshold of what you’re willing to take—the point in a situation where you say to yourself “I am going to punch this person” really dictates how often you’ll need to use your fists. If your threshold is very low, if you feel the need to assert yourself, or defend yourself, chances are you’re going to get in a fight, or find yourself throwing. If your threshold is high, situations that would cause others to take the gloves off are going to resolve themselves in non-violent ways.

Don’t get me wrong: I was a teenager. I had a temper. And I was coursing with more testosterone than a 12 foot bull shark. But in conflict situations I more or less never felt like it had to come to blows. I never saw that as a requisite solution. I think the main two factors for me were:

1. I was never the kid that got picked on. I also never was the bully that picked on the scrawny kid, either. While I’ve never experienced it (and have forgotten what it was like to see that in grade/high school) I guess this does happen. And if this is your reality, then I really feel for you brother.
2. I considered the implications of scrapping with someone. Sure, this guy’s got a problem with me or I’ve got a problem with him; adrenaline and impulse is telling you it’s time to smash someone. But what happens afterward? What happens if I hit this guy just right and put him in the hospital? Smash his orbital bone and disfigure his face forever? What if someone gets killed? Humans are tough, but don’t kid yourself: you can definitely get jacked up in a fight.

…there’s a very real part of fighting that you have to consider - what happens tomorrow. If you break someone’s neck and paralyze or kill them, you might be arrested or sued…

Exactly my sentiments. You’re fired up now, but the rush doesn’t last for that long. And the things you do on impulse could have major repercussions later.

Fighting in one form or another is a part of our (and every) culture. I would imagine it’s a universal human trait. In pop culture we have boxing, UFC, martial arts; it’s dramatized constantly on our television, in our movies, our books—everything. But not everyone’s a fighter. Not everyone’s threshold is at the point where they will turn from passivity to action. And maybe at some point a non-fighting person, for reasons outside of their control, really will have to defend themselves with violence. But not everyone.

I think the fixation that causes mainstream magazines and sites to discuss the right way to fight is based on the anxiety that one day we may have to turn from watcher to participant. But that’s all that it is: anxiety. Curiousity. Not inevitability.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 10th, 2008 at 10:31 pm and is filed under Popular Culture.
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