Normal sports fan tries, but still finds NASCAR boring

I like sports. In fact I love them. Love the NFL, love college basketball and MLB (probably in that order). My favorite event is March Madness by far, however. I’m also a big fan of watching the premier sports at the Olympics, like boxing, track and field and swimming in the summer and downhill skiing, bobsled and hockey in the winter. Even NHL hockey is fun (in person). I’m part of a fantasy football team every year and while I don’t always do so hot, I know the best players and who generally to draft. I love the pre-season NIT and the Hall of Fame Game.

But man, NASCAR is boring.

About 2 years ago I moved down south for work and family. At the office, guys talked NASCAR all the time. This driver and that, this kind of car and that, alot of talk about restrictor plates and the Car of Tomorrow. Most of which went over my head. I probably know slightly more about cars than Mikhail Baryshnikov. I’m not trying to make a statement about the knowledge of Russian ballet dancers, but…ok yes I am. Anyway, I don’t know much about cars. I can change my own oil and can flush the radiator if I care to. (I did both a few times, but it was a pain to dispose of the old fluids so I just go to Jiffy Lube or whatever now.) Windshield wipers and all the other fluids aren’t confusing. I even once changed the thing that charges the battery when the car is running…er…the name of which escapes me as I write this. It has belts and what not. The converter? No that’s not it. Bah. See? Regardless, I’m no gear head by any stretch.

Hilariously, I joined a Fantasy NASCAR group last year. And won. Seriously! I won the group and was paid $60 bucks for first. Everyone was pissed because I kept chiding them about how I knew nothing, never watched and still was winning. My strategy consisted of putting in drivers every “expert” said to. Who the hell is Boris Said? I didn’t care. He was picked on “road courses” and in to the line up he went. An interesting side note, one of the road courses for NASCAR is Watkins Glen, which hosted one of the largest rock concerts ever with one of my favorite bands, the Grateful Dead. (BTW, do yourself a favor and listen to the soundcheck jam - choice 10. Even if you don’t like improvisational music, this one is inspired.) 

Ok ok…on topic…

I tried this year to watch the whole Daytona 500race and found it so freaking tedious that I had to give up and go edge the yard. (For those of you in cold climates, the yard never stops growing in the South.) They go around and around for hours and get gas and tires occassionally. Sure the cars are fast and sometimes they bump and even crash. I joked with my dad on the phone that I think people watch to see if someone will turn right at some point. See, they go one way on an oval track…always turning left…if they turned right, they’d crash. It was funny if you were there.

The drivers are likely very skilled at what they do although I would hesitate to call them athletes. I’m sure someone will bristle at drivers not being athletes but someone always does. Those same people probably would’ve liked to have seen poker in the Olympics. OK perhaps they are athletic and it seems pretty draining to sit for 4 hours in a 120 degree (or more) car in full body asbestos underwear, even though they now have said underwear cooled the whole time. And you probably have to concentrate pretty damn hard for the entire time. That said, NASCAR drivers are no Michael Jordan, Bruce Jenner or even Brian Bosworth. I will however concede that they are more athletic than John Daly or Fernando Valenzuela.

All that aside, I tried to watch for the nuances. Although the hillbilly announcing the race was no help, I guess there were some…drafting and bumping or some such. Yes changing the tires fast seems to get people back into the race ahead of the guy who was slower. Also, some pit crews mastered the art of the calculator as someone was able to judge if their guy needed to get gas when others didn’t. I’m not sure why they couldn’t just put in a guage of some kind in the car saying how many miles they have left… Apparently it’s a risky thing staying out on the track without getting new tires and more gas. I get it that new tires grip better. Again though, will this keep me awake?

One thing I do know. NASCAR looks GREAT in hi-def.

Why do all the boring sports like golf and NASCAR look so good on TV?

This entry was posted on Monday, February 18th, 2008 at 3:34 pm and is filed under Popular Culture, Sports.
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