Tonight We Dine In Hell
Ok, I’ll admit it: I *like* Hooters. Or, more specifically, I like Hooters wings. My wife and I have wandered over to Hooters, ordered 20 hot and drank a few pitchers of beer many, many times. More times than I care to mention.
They’re good wings, and frequently the only choice available.
But god, they’d really do well to rethink their whole schtick. Sure, “hot” girls—I get it. I get the deal. But let me tell you, nude pantyhose and tight orange nylon shorts are *not* appetizing. And, worse, they’re not attractive.
What you’re trying to do here is create a place branded for young guys that will come in, get drunk and spend money. Maybe not even young—there’s plenty of lawnmower salesmen that guiltily raid Hooters when traveling to Chicago or Minneapolis for their annual sales conventions. Theoretically these guys will come in, drawn to be in a room full of captive women who *have to* flirt with them. Plus there’s beer and greasy bar food.
That’s easy. Easy enough. And Hooters, you’re messing it up.
Your style guidelines are painfully dated, making the overall experience feel like watching a car accident in slow motion. You got the beer and fried food part right; now it’s time to fix everything else.
1. New uniforms.
Seriously, *anything* would be better than the nylons-shorts-and-tanktops thing. I have yet to go to Hooters with anyone that hasn’t been grossed out by the shorts. Why not jeans? Women have been looking in great in jeans since the 70s. And it would allow your wait staff to have their own variation in dress. It would be a profound transformation.
2. Music
This is really geared to be a guy’s bar/restaurant, no? Then tailor the music to male taste and get rid of the Village People schtick. The people whose wallets you want open do not like giggly girl music.
3. Silly Routines
Ok, this one is probably my own personal axe to grind, but: do you *have to* do all the Hooter Girls dance numbers and routines? The “How Many Hooters Girls Fit In The Hula Hoop” one particularly drives me nuts. Now, I understand that some people probably go to Hooters intentionally for these routines. Every time I’ve gone some poor pimple-faced kid is getting spanked on his 14th birthday. But me, I could do without. It’s almost as bad as the dancing waiter thing at Joe’s Crabshack (which is *truly* painful to watch).
Hooters management, I swear to you: rework your schtick. You could go from a mass-market niche to a much larger chain restaurant presence overnight.